Testing this window’s live writer…it seems to be in working order…carry on.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Day 2...going strong...Less ramble I promise *wink*
It is exactly 1pm as I write this, and I just now finished eating breakfast. 2 strips of thick sliced bacon and a scoop of grits. Not to bad right? No eggs because I tend to pile on the eggs since I "can't" eat just 1. I also made me some tea that I hardly drank because I put way to much lemon in it at it tasted horrid.
Last night for dinner I ate 3 waffles (teeny bit of syrup because I can't eat it, but more on that later)...and 5 crackers. Not an ideal dinner nor did I eat at the ideal time but I am not perfect and I have to learn that.
I mentioned in my last post (first post) that I had 2 journeys that I am embarking on and I only talked about the weight loss. So I do wanna (briefly) mention the hair.
Where to begin...
Basically I had cut my hair in a mohawk style that forces you to keep it up to par a-la-visit the hair salon every week. I wore that for a good year, I loved it, it loved me, it was a racy love affair. But I forgot that this was a love triangle and my pockets got jealous and did not want to play anymore,
Prior to the mohawk I had been growing out my hair from an older cut that I don't seem to recall and I was wearing a perm. *gasp!*
So now my mohawk is grown out of a wearable stage but the hair is still in the mohawk cut which means, middle longer sides shorter. I have also stopped putting perms in my hair as I actually don't need them.
(Before you continue reading, please note that this may be longer than I anticipated, but I ask you to read on)
My sisters all wear perms, I've worn a perm for the majority of my adult life. The only person who doesn't wear a perm is my mom, who has BSL (bra strap length for future reference) locks. My little sister, who by all means isn't little since she's 21 states that I need to get over myself and get a perm...but why?
If you readers out there want to know one thing about me, let me tell you something interesting. The only thing I haven't done to may hair is shave it completely off (which I have been DYING!!!! to do).
I've had all types of colors, to brightest blond, to deepest black, with blue and purple and whatever other color you can think of. Even hair tinsel! (think streamers on a little kids bike) It's been all types of lengths via weave, tracks, extensions.
So I can't understand why this would shock anyone when I try something new! (well not really just going to something really old) Besides, I am so tired of spending money to buy hair to add, I may as well grow it properly to save money in the long term,
I have hair like my mom, its softer texture, but my hair is also DRY! It is the worst. Though I guarantee that once I begin to wear it out without the perm, it won't be.
The last time I had a perm was August 2010. 5 months ago. *dances* My stylist has been cutting out the perm every time I visit. (I am due for a visit this week actually.) Right now we aren't as interested in evening the hair to make it one uniform length as much as getting rid of the permed ends. It was easier for me to go about this since my hair was already shorter due to the mohawk and I think I would have caused an uproar at home and work if I would have shaved it off. They are more scared of change than I apparently. Honestly I really shouldn't have any more permed ends, but who knows since my hair is weaved up right now.
In August I am praying to have at least chin length hair since I really started at the beginning. (My mohawk wasn't long, I liked it short)
I will not get in to the reasons why I think more women should wear their natural hair, but I know at the end of the day its a personal choice, at least I hope it is and not a brain washed personal choice. (I'll talk about that on a later date)
Anyway, back to food. I'm making BBQ chicken with red rice and spinach. Sounds yummy to me...Lunch possible a bowl of ramen....sans the broth, I never drink it but I'm pretty sure if I ever went to Ippudo's (sp?) and didn't drink the broth I'd be banned. Oh well....
I'll report back if any changes....
Laters <3
PS I really started this at 1pm, so why did it take me 43min to finish posting this? *sigh* Talk to much...
Last night for dinner I ate 3 waffles (teeny bit of syrup because I can't eat it, but more on that later)...and 5 crackers. Not an ideal dinner nor did I eat at the ideal time but I am not perfect and I have to learn that.
I mentioned in my last post (first post) that I had 2 journeys that I am embarking on and I only talked about the weight loss. So I do wanna (briefly) mention the hair.
Where to begin...
Basically I had cut my hair in a mohawk style that forces you to keep it up to par a-la-visit the hair salon every week. I wore that for a good year, I loved it, it loved me, it was a racy love affair. But I forgot that this was a love triangle and my pockets got jealous and did not want to play anymore,
Prior to the mohawk I had been growing out my hair from an older cut that I don't seem to recall and I was wearing a perm. *gasp!*
So now my mohawk is grown out of a wearable stage but the hair is still in the mohawk cut which means, middle longer sides shorter. I have also stopped putting perms in my hair as I actually don't need them.
(Before you continue reading, please note that this may be longer than I anticipated, but I ask you to read on)
My sisters all wear perms, I've worn a perm for the majority of my adult life. The only person who doesn't wear a perm is my mom, who has BSL (bra strap length for future reference) locks. My little sister, who by all means isn't little since she's 21 states that I need to get over myself and get a perm...but why?
If you readers out there want to know one thing about me, let me tell you something interesting. The only thing I haven't done to may hair is shave it completely off (which I have been DYING!!!! to do).
I've had all types of colors, to brightest blond, to deepest black, with blue and purple and whatever other color you can think of. Even hair tinsel! (think streamers on a little kids bike) It's been all types of lengths via weave, tracks, extensions.
So I can't understand why this would shock anyone when I try something new! (well not really just going to something really old) Besides, I am so tired of spending money to buy hair to add, I may as well grow it properly to save money in the long term,
I have hair like my mom, its softer texture, but my hair is also DRY! It is the worst. Though I guarantee that once I begin to wear it out without the perm, it won't be.
The last time I had a perm was August 2010. 5 months ago. *dances* My stylist has been cutting out the perm every time I visit. (I am due for a visit this week actually.) Right now we aren't as interested in evening the hair to make it one uniform length as much as getting rid of the permed ends. It was easier for me to go about this since my hair was already shorter due to the mohawk and I think I would have caused an uproar at home and work if I would have shaved it off. They are more scared of change than I apparently. Honestly I really shouldn't have any more permed ends, but who knows since my hair is weaved up right now.
In August I am praying to have at least chin length hair since I really started at the beginning. (My mohawk wasn't long, I liked it short)
I will not get in to the reasons why I think more women should wear their natural hair, but I know at the end of the day its a personal choice, at least I hope it is and not a brain washed personal choice. (I'll talk about that on a later date)
Anyway, back to food. I'm making BBQ chicken with red rice and spinach. Sounds yummy to me...Lunch possible a bowl of ramen....sans the broth, I never drink it but I'm pretty sure if I ever went to Ippudo's (sp?) and didn't drink the broth I'd be banned. Oh well....
I'll report back if any changes....
Laters <3
PS I really started this at 1pm, so why did it take me 43min to finish posting this? *sigh* Talk to much...
Sunday, January 23, 2011
First time out...Not really
So this is my first blog in a very long time. Thanks to some blog I stumbled across by a man who suffers from anorexia and a host of other mental illnesses which I found hilarious (not the diseases but his rawness) I decided to put up a new blog. That and long ago my livejournal use to be such a hit. (yeah I had a livejournal, deadjournal, xanga (I think that's what it was called) and so on and so forth) SOOOO in my attempt to reconnect with the online world, which by the way, is such a sick and fantastical place, here I am.
The purpose of this blog is not to vent (though I do believe that it will become JUST that) it is to chronicle the 2 journeys I'm about to embark on. Well one I have already started which is to grow my hair long and luxurious. (yes very conceited but different and a challenge for me)
The second is to lose weight. (very unoriginal) I have been trying but since its been bothering me as of late, i'm going to be serious about it. As long as I have to report to you guys, I'll feel accountable, just like at my lovely job. I'll very much try to blog everyday about how it is going but if not, then I would double or triple report when I do.
So as it stands right now, I'm starving....I had a bagel w/butter and jelly for breakfast (I know, I know) and BBQ crispy snack wrap (I said I know!) and a large coffee. That's it. Oh and also a piece of cake, but in my defense I was at my nephew's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.
Before this, let me give you some stats. I'm 23, 5ft 5in, and *drumroll* 185lbs. *slinks* Now when in high school I weighed a "measley" 140 -145lbs and it may have been a healthy doctory BMI-y weight, but everyone thought I was on some type of drug (especially my family, with my mom telling me every day that I looked like I was on coke) Even if you saw me right now, you wouldn't believe I weighed that much, but it's all in how I carry my weight. Note how I said carry, not cover, because I really don't try to hide it, fuck you don't judge me.
The first 20lbs I gained actually looked good on me. I looked like I ate a meal but had no belly, no back fat, and could wear a bikini....then enter my ex-fiancée.
Not an excuse, but here are the facts. He was a good 300lbs, his favorite things was to eat and feed me (obviously). We were together for a good 2 1/2 yrs where I weighed my heaviest at 191 lbs. *eek!* So he's out of the picture and now I weigh less, but still am fat. Now everyone that I know feels like they are obliged to tell me I am not fat, but I know what I know. I'm fat. When I have to buy things with an X in it, I'm fat. (My bf now does not know about this blog because he'll insist that I don't have to lose weight and feed me some chicken)
Back to stats...well this isn't a stat it may just be in my head, but I can't help but think that the mirror is telling me this: I am shaped weird. I have thick legs and no ass, and with this excess weight, I have a bigger back. (according to my bra size and shirts) think upside down triangle (LOL!!!!) no but not that sharp but I hope you get the picture. I've always had thick legs but to get bigger every where else makes my flat ass stand out more so its really weird, I promise.
My pants size is a 10, which i guess translates into a 30/31 in the alternate size. Which isn't a big deal to me since HS I've only went up 1 pant size. (I said I've always had thick legs)
My shirt size is a Large (I went from a sm/m to a full out large. I will NEVER play myself and try to pick up a medium.
My bra size is 38D (Up from a 36D)
My underwear size is Small (still a small, which I said before flat ass. But small in Victoria's Secret you know their underwear runs big, so maybe a medium or large in other things, but I only wear VS so...yeah)
Doesn't these measurements make me sound funny shaped? Yes appease me and say Yeah.
Ok so here are my goals....
I have a pair of jeans in my closet that I never wore, with tags and all, I want to fit in them. They don't get past the thickest part of my thighs *sad*
but actual numbers...well I'm not buying a scale. I am very obsessive so if for some reason I go up 1-2lb I'd send myself into a panic mode.
These numbers however....
Shirts - Medium
Jeans/Pants - 8 (really 6 but these legs hasn't been a 6 since 7th grade)
Bikini - HELL YEAH! *in my best Sakura voice* (10pts if you've seen 1 episode of Shippuuden 20pts if you know that it isn't the complete title. 30pts if you read the manga, 40pts if you know what manga is.
I guess if I ever got a scale if the number said 155lbs then I'd do a spazy dance but 160 is cool (think "The Ugly Truth")
So thats 30-ish lbs *;_;* (I can feel the bitchiness associated with lowering my carb intake creeping up now)
Are where I want to be
Actually I don't know what size the jeans in my closet are, but if those fit without me doing lunges and acrobatics (or sucking it in) to get them up, i'll be ecstatic. They have no spandex in them either so I can't cheat.
You'd be surprised to know that despite all this weight gain, I can't tell you where it went....I know it didn't go to my flat ass. Well I think it got evenly distributed. The most noticeable is that back fat and love handles, but not so much the actual middle of my stomach. So if I don't eat all day, my tummy is basically flat. My arms got thicker too and obviously my legs. I guess evenly distributed is best to describe my weight gain.
OMG I've been long winded....lol ok ok ok
Whats funny is, I'm not freaking done.
Alright maybe for now...I'm starving...I guess I can eat something, tomorrow is a new day.
Laters <3
ps - I really shouldn't eat after 7.
The purpose of this blog is not to vent (though I do believe that it will become JUST that) it is to chronicle the 2 journeys I'm about to embark on. Well one I have already started which is to grow my hair long and luxurious. (yes very conceited but different and a challenge for me)
The second is to lose weight. (very unoriginal) I have been trying but since its been bothering me as of late, i'm going to be serious about it. As long as I have to report to you guys, I'll feel accountable, just like at my lovely job. I'll very much try to blog everyday about how it is going but if not, then I would double or triple report when I do.
So as it stands right now, I'm starving....I had a bagel w/butter and jelly for breakfast (I know, I know) and BBQ crispy snack wrap (I said I know!) and a large coffee. That's it. Oh and also a piece of cake, but in my defense I was at my nephew's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.
Before this, let me give you some stats. I'm 23, 5ft 5in, and *drumroll* 185lbs. *slinks* Now when in high school I weighed a "measley" 140 -145lbs and it may have been a healthy doctory BMI-y weight, but everyone thought I was on some type of drug (especially my family, with my mom telling me every day that I looked like I was on coke) Even if you saw me right now, you wouldn't believe I weighed that much, but it's all in how I carry my weight. Note how I said carry, not cover, because I really don't try to hide it, fuck you don't judge me.
The first 20lbs I gained actually looked good on me. I looked like I ate a meal but had no belly, no back fat, and could wear a bikini....then enter my ex-fiancée.
Not an excuse, but here are the facts. He was a good 300lbs, his favorite things was to eat and feed me (obviously). We were together for a good 2 1/2 yrs where I weighed my heaviest at 191 lbs. *eek!* So he's out of the picture and now I weigh less, but still am fat. Now everyone that I know feels like they are obliged to tell me I am not fat, but I know what I know. I'm fat. When I have to buy things with an X in it, I'm fat. (My bf now does not know about this blog because he'll insist that I don't have to lose weight and feed me some chicken)
Back to stats...well this isn't a stat it may just be in my head, but I can't help but think that the mirror is telling me this: I am shaped weird. I have thick legs and no ass, and with this excess weight, I have a bigger back. (according to my bra size and shirts) think upside down triangle (LOL!!!!) no but not that sharp but I hope you get the picture. I've always had thick legs but to get bigger every where else makes my flat ass stand out more so its really weird, I promise.
My pants size is a 10, which i guess translates into a 30/31 in the alternate size. Which isn't a big deal to me since HS I've only went up 1 pant size. (I said I've always had thick legs)
My shirt size is a Large (I went from a sm/m to a full out large. I will NEVER play myself and try to pick up a medium.
My bra size is 38D (Up from a 36D)
My underwear size is Small (still a small, which I said before flat ass. But small in Victoria's Secret you know their underwear runs big, so maybe a medium or large in other things, but I only wear VS so...yeah)
Doesn't these measurements make me sound funny shaped? Yes appease me and say Yeah.
Ok so here are my goals....
I have a pair of jeans in my closet that I never wore, with tags and all, I want to fit in them. They don't get past the thickest part of my thighs *sad*
but actual numbers...well I'm not buying a scale. I am very obsessive so if for some reason I go up 1-2lb I'd send myself into a panic mode.
These numbers however....
Shirts - Medium
Jeans/Pants - 8 (really 6 but these legs hasn't been a 6 since 7th grade)
Bikini - HELL YEAH! *in my best Sakura voice* (10pts if you've seen 1 episode of Shippuuden 20pts if you know that it isn't the complete title. 30pts if you read the manga, 40pts if you know what manga is.
I guess if I ever got a scale if the number said 155lbs then I'd do a spazy dance but 160 is cool (think "The Ugly Truth")
So thats 30-ish lbs *;_;* (I can feel the bitchiness associated with lowering my carb intake creeping up now)
Are where I want to be
Actually I don't know what size the jeans in my closet are, but if those fit without me doing lunges and acrobatics (or sucking it in) to get them up, i'll be ecstatic. They have no spandex in them either so I can't cheat.
You'd be surprised to know that despite all this weight gain, I can't tell you where it went....I know it didn't go to my flat ass. Well I think it got evenly distributed. The most noticeable is that back fat and love handles, but not so much the actual middle of my stomach. So if I don't eat all day, my tummy is basically flat. My arms got thicker too and obviously my legs. I guess evenly distributed is best to describe my weight gain.
OMG I've been long winded....lol ok ok ok
Whats funny is, I'm not freaking done.
Alright maybe for now...I'm starving...I guess I can eat something, tomorrow is a new day.
Laters <3
ps - I really shouldn't eat after 7.
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